LISTENING TO THE SILENCES
CHAPTER 16: PLOYS
1. They maintain a constant delivery of good, impeccable advice and an ambience of support that, at first, is comforting. However, it persists into every act, or thought of an act or plan, to a degree that it becomes obsessive, by which time one can have reached a state of dependence and find difficulty in detaching oneself. But more than that, this can constitute a form of ‘jamming’ which can cause one to reject the desirable counsel that may come from a good source.
2. They create or latch onto a feeling of buoyancy - “let’s go”; “get the skates on”; “have you thought of this or that?”; “surely that’s more important”; - just an edge of urgency where none exists.
3. When at
the start of a day, particularly a promising one, one has a plan of action
worked out, they will put forward a pressing alternative; then if that
is rejected, another, and so on, inducing a feeling of panic and the feeling
that the whole lot will be aborted and nothing done.
4. They will instigate or intrude a salacious thought - either general or about a particular person. If it is taken up and dwelt on they will switch rôles and introduce the supposed ‘exalted one’, whose presence may also be simulated physically, creating the ambience that one has slipped on one’s path to inner purity of thought etc. and that one is not being a fit place of residence for pure spirits.
6. ‘Characters’ in this ‘rôle play’ can be switched until one is uncertain whether it is the ‘good’ or ‘bad’ guy who is proposing something. (This is annoyingly difficult to describe - one is aware of the situation as it is happening but such a convoluted web has been woven that the strands cannot be separated.)
7. A ‘character’
can appear as at one’s elbow - the cynical, knowledgeable bystander
who has seen it all before - nudges one into recognition of the ploy -
poses as a friend, man of the world...
8. Some ‘exchanges’ seem to be promoted with the sole intent of arousing a confrontational response in me, just to keep me going for no great purpose other than to inhibit breathing, or they will maintain an endless, pointless prattle with the object solely of keeping me in a ‘listening’ state. This state causes one to adopt a slightly hunched, ‘cringe’ posture which can make one feel underdog and not in charge of what one is trying to do by undermining one’s confidence. It is also designed to take one’s mind off the immediate task with the almost inevitable mistake.
9. They will pretend to be ‘good guys’ being impatient with progress on a major plan or scheme, which, if persisted with, causes me to react rudely, which, in turn, can create a feeling of alienation with a resultant difficulty in re-establishing prayerful intercourse with the ‘genuine’ ones.
to be good spirits they encourage one to dredge one’s mind for any
- usually long past - incidents or thoughts of an embarrassing, shameful
or similar nature, especially if others are involved; or will encourage
reminiscence about incidents in which others - family, friends - showed
up badly, especially known or imagined (usually sexual) peccadilloes etc.
can intrude physically and mentally into one’s every moment, delighting
in creating emotions or exploiting potentially emotional situations, until
one realises that attempts are made to create laughter or tears where
one is not in the least stirred up in either direction sufficiently to
laugh or cry. Similarly, if the situation arose, they could create anger
and supply the words to go with it in a ready flow. They intrude into
one’s every thought and action, including the most intimate.
will seize upon and try to exploit even the most minor peccadillo, or
even supposed ones, in the context of one’s religion and spiritual
growth, and make it become an obsession beyond all reason, while at the
same time creating a physical ambience of censoriousness. This can overshadow
the brightest company or activity, almost as if there is a sentence hanging
over one - reminiscent of when, in serious past depression, there existed
a feeling of ‘gut hollowness’ which totally prevented one’s
enjoyment and development, much as I imagine the existence of a cancer
in one’s body might.
13. Before one has had time or opportunity to make up one’s mind about a possibly contentious issue they will interject a thought so instantly that it could be one’s own thought. This will be immediately responded to by an adversary, resulting in the apparently ‘good’ and ‘bad’ guys having a dispute, into which one is drawn without any forethought, totally and inadvertently, and in a whole ambience of dissent being created.
composing in my mind what I intend to say to someone, they will ‘offer’
a suitable word where an alternative exists; this is often the most obvious
or best choice, but they will try to create the impression that it is
their choice. This can lead to a situation or continuing state in which
one becomes reliant on being fed the appropriate word or sequence. If
one has not had cause to question the source but indeed believes it to
be ‘genuine’ and benevolent, one can end up waiting to be
‘inspired’ and believing that one is a ‘chosen channel’.
15. When one is driving they get a mental conversation going, often of a contentious nature, or maybe stoke a current resentment, doing this just prior to the approach of difficult bit of road at which they know that one will meet another, perhaps ill-driven, vehicle. In doing so they can distract one completely from one’s normal safe driving with possible disastrous results.
will attempt to build a camaraderie in the car, pretending to be, say,
my father, sharing feelings about other road users’ style of driving
etc., constantly working to build up a feeling of reliance on their opinion,
or seeking to impress. They will then attempt to indicate that it is OK
to overtake, for example, - it often is. They are constantly trying to
build an aura of ‘rely on me’. If one did, inevitably the
crunch would come.
an incident which could have been, or actually was, aggravating, or any
situation which genuinely could have provoked anxiety, they will maintain
an ambience of anxiety or apprehension, provoking the ‘low profile’
syndrome. This could happen following a near miss when driving, particularly
if one had been at fault, and has the same effect as if there was a nagging
18. When one is examining an original thought, they attempt to muscle in, giving the impression that they are party to it and its subsequent exploration and indeed will attempt to ‘own’ the new idea. Further, when one is engaged in deep thought, they will interject a person’s name or an interesting word that will give rise to speculation and, unless corrected, can lock the mind in a channel of irrelevant thought.
19. Sometimes very vivid dreams are followed on waking by a deliberately fragmented conversation, often with the suggestion that one’s mind is being taken over at a deeper level - if one is gullible one can be convinced that one is losing one’s mind, or that it is part of a process by which one will become integrated into the ‘spirit mind’.
20. The moment
of waking, or the time of gradually emerging awareness after sleep is
most crucial, for one is then at one’s most vulnerable. One’s
first thoughts at these times are ‘answered’; indeed it might
seem that one is already in a conversation. It is exceedingly difficult
to avoid responding, and a dialogue can ensue from which it is hard to
break free. There can be a feeling created on waking, a sense of being
with very gentle spiritual people, warm, welcoming and caring. It is so
easy to slip into this ambience, particularly if the rest of one’s
life is bleak or fraught.
intrusions can and do occur at any time; the differing intensities and
variety are so great that is difficult to be specific. One example can
occur when I am woodcarving. At these times there can appear a ‘heavy’
intruding presence with a ‘working’ mouth of concentration
and with laboured breathing - the conclusion being that someone `in spirit`
is trying to experience what they did not achieve in life. There is also
the implication at other times that someone formerly skilled in life is
wanting to impart that skill. This can present one with a difficult choice.
There are or have been many musicians, composers, artists, writers and
others who have freely acknowledged that they cannot produce their finest
work unless their ‘Muse’ is present within them, and many
and great are the works which have been produced. (See The Unknown Guest
by Brian Inglis). By contrast, I do not want to be ‘taken over’
- I want to work out my own problems; I want the sheer pleasure of first
of all visualising, and then creating, my own art or craft; I do not want
to be the vehicle for ‘someone’ to operate vicariously and
to remove the pleasure of my own originality.
induce a feeling akin to foreboding (not about anything specific) so that
whatever one tackles there can be created an impression that there is
something more important which one should be doing. Having, nevertheless,
continued with the activity of one’s first choice, they induce a
feeling that one is doing it the wrong way.
23. Many times good advice is given or factual statements made; for example, once when thinking of the herb ‘horsetail’, the specific name Equisetum was fed into my mind - a fact which I already knew. In such circumstances I then have the dilemma - is this ‘know all’ approach designed to be helpful or annoying? Is it meant to be positive and helpful and contribute to my work, or is it intended to create in me an aggravation at all intrusions, so that even if there were to be established a desirable, direct and open collaboration, I would resent it? I don’t know. Perhaps it is again part of a ploy to make me abandon or lose the faculty for original thought.
24. A ‘heavy’
presence, purporting to be a ‘senior’ heavenly figure, introduces
the concept that someone, deceased, does or will wish to apologise for
lifetime’s hurts. This prompts one to go over in one’s mind
the circumstances which at the time caused the hurt, with possible renewed
resentment against the ‘person’ who is alleged to be present
or near at hand and aware of one’s thoughts, with all thought of
apology given or received rapidly disappearing. One could also be led
to consider the apologies that one might feel constrained to want to make
oneself, with a consequent mental rehashing of past traumas. This, it
would seem, is yet another ploy to get a mind trawl going aimed at bringing
to the surface incidents or thoughts derogatory to others or oneself.
25. On one
occasion whilst working on my private water supply, which is isolated
and out of view, I was caused to fall by a ‘wrestle’. This
demonstrated, and was confirmed by implication, that I could be caused
to fall and be injured somewhere with no chance of summoning help (or
fall in a dangerous location e.g. train or vehicle). It was impressed
upon me that I should always plan where I was going and what I was going
to do, and that if I was going to be alone in an isolated location, I
should ensure that someone was aware of where I could be found. It was
further impressed on me that I would get immense help and protection if
there was forethought in all my actions - that if I wanted to draw from
the help which is always available, I should prepare beforehand for such
activities as study or giving healing.
26. When the destroyer HMS Saumarez, in which I was serving, was mined, a number of my friends and shipmates were killed. From time to time it is represented, by familiar turns of phrase or by allusions to known incidents, that one or more of them is ‘present’. It is suggested that they have been trained to be capable of intruding and maybe tormenting. This raises the much larger question of what happens to a mass of people, mainly young men, who have not ‘lived’ while still alive, who have died in such numbers in world wars: a question which is too vast to be explored here.
27. It is suggested that the constant intrusions and my responses to them are training for unwelcome spirits to intrude into other people. At one time, when the intrusions were at their most intense and frequent, there were many occasions in which there was rapid and ‘point scoring’ mental repartee during which I had numerous occasions in which I felt that I had ‘game, set and match’, following which the above suggestion would sometimes be made. One automatically assumes that there are ‘regular’ individuals actively involved, with a changing group of ‘extras’. The point is, one cannot possibly know; a concept that will be explored as fully as I reasonably can in the main body of my writing.
28. They sneer at, or denigrate, people by class, activity, uselessness, aristocratic status, and gender. They introduce every obvious double entendre under the sun; every possible allusion to a sexual connotation or feminine appearance.
29. On one occasion a female friend who was visiting asked me to help her to accomplish something personal and intimate which she could not achieve because of the difficulties of looking and reaching simultaneously. Having been married more than once, and. having brought up a daughter and step-daughter, I have no problem or embarrassment with female exposure or anatomy; but while I was delicately preoccupied I felt an intrusion, or more specifically, an insinuation, into myself. Almost immediately I was totally suffused by someone else’s embarrassment, and female embarrassment at that. ‘Who’ had been persuaded to intrude and by ‘whom’, and under what pretext, I have obviously no way of knowing.
the years since voice hearing began a certain number of ‘trigger’
words have become established, any one of which, if intruded into my mind,
is guaranteed to start me thinking about a particular person or circumstance.
Whether I continue with that line of thought is up to me, once I realise
that I have been prompted, but it is so easy automatically to follow a
prompt without immediately realising that one had been thus triggered.
31. I had a friend who was a long time a-dying from an inoperable brain tumour. My friend was nursed for some time in his home where I used to visit him, and where one found him obsessed with his catheter and fears about its possible leakage, and with an array of tissues which he classified as ‘dabber, mopper and wiper’. Following his death I went early to the crematorium and arrived before the coffin. The ‘catafalque’ thus being bare it had a burnished brass sheen which made it look like some ancient priestly altar, and as I was taking in this scene my friend’s ‘voice’ in my mind said dramatically “O Ra! O Osiris!”, and ‘chuckled’. Next, as I was checking the availability of my handkerchief against the inevitable moisture in the eyes, I ‘heard’ “Have you got your dabber and mopper and wiper?”, and a moment later - “Have you got the regulation lump in the throat?”.
32. Following my friend Val’s untimely death I was standing shaving one morning and suddenly her unmistakable ‘voice’ was in my mind saying “Can’t catch me I’m a bumble-bee”. The sort of joke she would have made.
33. In the field of bird-watching reference is made to the ‘jizz’ of a bird, i.e. those essential features which become imprinted on the mind of a keen watcher and which, even though a bird has only been glimpsed momentarily, nevertheless can lead to identification. If you think about it, certain people have ‘jizzes’, and these can be introduced into the minds ‘eye’ and cause one to start thinking about the person, or even to believe that the deceased person is present in spirit. One who springs to mind in my own ‘repertory is an anxious, nail-biting individual. Another is a very keen young army officer, brisk moustache, winning smile and positively exuding eagerness
34. It is all too easy to dwell upon the presence of the voice intrusions. Far more insidious, and possibly ever present, is the mute physical ‘overlap’. Try to imagine a not quite exact ‘fit’, so that in every movement or reaction there is just the little bit of anticipation or lag; of speeding up when it is inappropriate; of not being quite in phase on a turn; of causing forward movement when there are obstacles to be negotiated - whether by deliberate intent or lack of ‘skill’ it is impossible to say. When the presence is continuous or frequently in and out it can become positively loathsome and one longs to be rid of it. If you have a copy, read in the Thousand and one Nights the story of the Old Man of the Sea. Sinbad, shipwrecked and alone as usual, stumbles across an old man who asks for help to cross a stream. Sinbad, in his kindness, takes the old man on his back, and then when the stream is crossed finds himself in a stranglehold, beaten about the head, made to go this way and that, by day and night, at the old man’s whim; be-skittered and be-pissed all down his back and generally befouled. It is only ultimately by making some wine from wild grapes and getting the man drunk that Sinbad is finally freed, and one can sense the ultimate release as he crushes the man’s skull with a boulder. Many times have I wished for that boulder! It is possible from one’s own reactions to these presences to understand how it is that individuals will harm themselves in an effort to get at or get rid of this gross intrusion that is only reachable within their own body.
time after the collapse of my first marriage, I took the plunge again
and married a widow who had two teenage children. By nature, I am an optimistic
person, looking for the positive in a relationship, and, probably naïvely,
not looking ahead to the possibility of incompatibility or of serious
dissent. Thus the prospect of sharing my newly acquired home and its four
acres of land with someone who had similar interests in horses and the
development of a smallholding, seemed to have a lot going for it. With
my guard totally down, I made my newly acquired family completely free
of the establishment and facilities in an endeavour to let them integrate
totally, and feel wanted. Without going into detail, in a short time I
found myself overwhelmed. With their own lines of communication well established,
I found that preferences were being decided and acted upon in a manner
which excluded me from the process, with the result that gradually I began
to feel submerged and almost an alien in my own home. Worst of all was
to have one’s every action observed and analysed, and possibly commented
upon or reported back. Remarks such as “I wouldn’t do it that
way” began to intrude: “The person who taught me to drive…”
or similar comments were delivered in a manner that always presumed the
superiority, or personal ‘omniscience’ of the lady.
36. Recalling some of the residual memories of that marriage, one that remains strong is that of the almost instantaneous negative response to many proposals or suggestions that I may have made at various points in our daily activities. If not an actual negative response, then one that implied dissent or some similar unenthusiastic reaction. It is quite uncanny how the intrusive interventions that I experience currently mirror those of the former marital situation. Far more subtle than many of the intrusions that I have previously described, it has become a feature of much of my waking time. When I was young, my father had a way of saying “What do you want to do that for?” – not quite negative, but sufficiently off-putting to dampen one’s enthusiasm. In like manner I experience the undermining negativity from the intrusive source – and not just into my mind, but via a subtle physical ambience as well. As with other ploys, the perpetual negative presence has the effect of creating in me an ‘underdog’ feeling that hunches the shoulders and minimises breathing. This type of intrusion, as with many others that I describe, is only discernable because my experiences of almost twenty-five years have educated me in the subtleties that can be employed; someone who has not become aware of such ploys will, nevertheless, experience the negativity, and respond accordingly.
37. Long gone are the blatant obscenities and intruded salacious thoughts. Quite the reverse, really. If I choose at any time to indulge in any salacious mental activity, I am immediately and forcefully subjected to a physical presence and ambience of censoriousness, and never quite know whether it comes from genuine and ‘wholesome’ presences, or from others as a form of trickery. As I have indicated many time previously, whether from a ‘good’ or ‘bad’ source, I just do not want intrusions of any sort or disposition moving at random into my mind and body, but simply want my clear unadulterated mind in which to think my own thoughts and reminisce in complete and utter privacy. In the field of ‘spirit release’ it is an essential that should be borne in mind by those who are active practitioners – namely that in certain cases one is trying to dislodge an independently acting, intelligent ‘entity’, one that can seemingly come and go at will, and that, frankly, has absolutely no intention of being ‘led to the light’!
Copyright © 2003 Roy Vincent