LISTENING TO THE SILENCES

 

CHAPTER 10 PAGE 2

Another, and somewhat different, example of a mute but explicit physical intrusion occurred as follows:

On one occasion, a female friend who was visiting asked me to help her to accomplish something personal and intimate that she could not achieve because of the difficulties of simultaneously looking and reaching. Having been married more than once, and having brought up a daughter and stepdaughter, I have no problem or embarrassment with female anatomy or exposure, but while I was delicately preoccupied, I felt an intrusion, or more specifically, a subtle insinuation into myself. Almost immediately, I was suffused by someone else's embarrassment, and female embarrassment at that. 'Who' had been persuaded to intrude and by 'whom', and under what pretext, I have obviously no way of knowing.

Physical intrusions can and do occur at any time and the differing intensities and variety are so great that is difficult to be specific. One example can occur when I am woodcarving.

At these times there can appear within me a 'heavy' intruding presence with a 'working' mouth of concentration and with laboured breathing - the conclusion being that someone 'in spirit' is trying to experience what they did not achieve in life. There is also the implication at other times that someone formerly skilled in life wants to impart that skill. This can present one with a difficult choice. There are or have been many musicians, composers, artists, writers and others who have freely acknowledged that they cannot produce their finest work unless their 'Muse' is present within them, and many and great are the works that have been produced. (See The Unknown Guest by Brian Inglis; also listen to the accounts given by concert pianist John Lill of his own experiences of spiritual presences that have occurred during his own public performances.) By contrast, I do not want to be 'taken over' - I want to work out my own problems and then want the sheer pleasure of, first of all, visualising, and then, creating my own art or craft. I do not want to be the vehicle through which 'someone' operates vicariously and, in doing so, takes away the pleasures of my own originality and craft skills.

I once had a very good sculpture and carving teacher who gave advice on concepts and techniques, but did not attempt to influence one's individual expression; nor did he touch the work unless asked to demonstrate, but was always there with advice if asked. Above all, he inspired immense confidence, and could rescue one from the most depressing artistic disasters.

This, by extension, is what one would hope for from desirable spiritual associates. Having done much to my house by way of development, and not having had craft training or much DIY experience, I have, nevertheless, been given much help by inspiration, in ways and on occasions that are too numerous to detail. It, however, helps me to make the point that there is much support and knowledge available, but it is received at a much, much deeper level than the other phenomena about which I am writing - virtually subliminally.

There can be a very great danger in accepting a 'Muse' into one's person. It can often be represented or inferred that this is the spirit of someone who, for example, was formerly a well known artist or musician. The belief that one has been chosen by this 'famous person' can be very flattering, but if it became continuous, one could gradually lose one's own identity and capacity for originality.

Once, while working on my private water supply, which is isolated and completely hidden from view, I was caused to fall by a 'wrestle'*. This effectively demonstrated, and was confirmed by implication, that I could be made to fall and be injured anywhere, with no chance of summoning help (or to fall in a dangerous location e.g. in front of a train or vehicle). It was then impressed upon me that I should always plan where I was going and what I was going to do, and that if I was going to be alone in an isolated location, I should ensure that someone was aware of where I could be found. It was further impressed on me that I would get immense help and protection if there was forethought in all my actions - that if I wanted to draw from the spiritual help which is always available, I should prepare beforehand for such activities as studying or giving healing. Although the purpose of this incident was benevolent and aimed at informing me for my own protection, I have included it here because it illustrates more than one aspect of what I am trying to convey. Earlier in my writing, I related how my body was manipulated physically with great skill. I am recalling it now to reinforce what I am trying to convey, namely the physical powers and skills of the 'intruders', whether they be benevolent or malevolent. Secondly, during this and the earlier happenings, there was no mental 'voice' communication. Entirely and fully, all that flowed did so at the deep subliminal level of 'concepts'.

On another occasion, when I was walking between my house and workshop, I was physically 'gutted'*, for want of a better word. This was completely spontaneous and without explanation - none was needed, for the meaning was obvious. It was as if a hand had reached in and torn out my solar plexus. Physical recovery came quite quickly, but the mental shock and implication stayed with me for much longer.

On yet another occasion, when playing a game of rounders or cricket in my field with some nephews and nieces, I was running vigorously for the ball, when, suddenly, my legs were 'kicked'* from under me and I fell heavily. It was equivalent to the most blatant foul I had ever experienced when playing rugby at school or in the Navy.

From time to time, I re-read what I have written, and I am always conscious of the number of times when I have been forced to place inverted commas around a word or phrase that I have used in trying to describe the indescribable - as in the three instances at *above. On no occasion was there a visible agent through whom the effects had been engineered, although, on the third occasion, my fall was very public and the result of what I can only describe as a vicious attack.

The experiences that I have drawn on so far, or that I shall go on to describe, have occurred over more than twenty years, and continue to happen in one form or another. Throughout that time, I have kept notes of events as they took place, and have them with me now. I hope that in my writing I have shown myself to be capable of lucid communication. People with whom I come into contact treat me as an intelligent, 'normal' person who has a wide-ranging intellect; someone to whom a number come for advice on a range of topics; someone who is regarded as a good communicator. Yet, in spite of these personal qualifications, I am having the greatest difficulty in describing my experiences in such a manner that I will succeed in convincing anyone - particularly the sceptical, the determined 'unbelievers' - of their truth.

Truth came and knocked on your door.
"Go away", you called, "I'm busy looking for the truth"
…and Truth went away…puzzled.


I find that I can continue to write most effectively by the use of analogy and by drawing upon my own personal experiences, although, in this instance, they are experiences gained in everyday life and several years before the beginning of the 'voice intrusions'.


 

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